Basically i reached that part of the internet that really makes you think so i feel like writing…well typing because ive just spent a very long time crying at suicide stories online …no im not on the verge but it just makes you think… i cant help but feel real sorrow for people how have taken their own lives and it has led me to think about about mine and how happy i am …or am i.

Well really im thinking about how if i ever took my life who it would affect antd i dont think i could ever put my parents through the pain of losing a child and my sister the thought of leaving her kills me itself and ofcourse my best friend who im very attached to , i have a real appreciation for them all as ive never looked at it in the way before im grateful. .

But there is something missing , i am pretty alone , over the course of 6 months ive changed and let go of many friends but i wish i had a way to move forward. I know whats missing but i dont know how to get it.

Im just stuck…..i appreciate what ive got but im contradicting myself by wanting more humph

2013 a year to get myself to where i want to be , do the best i can to get where i want to and by this time next year i hope all the pieces will fall into place otherwise ill be writing another one of these lol

Well thats all for today ….i know im talking to myself basically, this is just like a diary the world can see lol

I havent wrote a daily blog in a long long loooong time….bad julie.

Well turns out im writing now as a hell of alot has changed and i have feels right now and need to tell someone so i tell you …..the internet my true friend lol jk

im just gonna break it down: ive lost alot of friends , discovered who the real ones are turns out theres only one lol, except the one whos stuck by me the longest but he doesnt count as he never went anywhere, i hate uni !!! self explanatory really ? Most of my friends hate each other maybe even me lol , i dont know how to proceed with my life, i am spiralling into a pit of depression surrounded by my loveless life …that sounded really sad lol WHO do i like !? idk…..But the positive is that i have two amazing friends that like me as i am and dont try and change my opinions at all, i love my job and the new people ive met from it and i can aford the little luxuries in life that make me smile yeyy :)

Thats all really needed to get that off my chest….glad we talked <3

So today was a nice day for a change maybe the first nice day all summer and my friends invited me out a walk and was picking me up this morning but i was too tired and cancelled….terrible friend - i choose my bed over them lol I really have felt like death all day , i have hayfever or something idk but i sneezed like 40 times in a row today…thats not natural.

Apart from sleeping i didnt do anything today , i dont regret it tbh I needed rest

But now i get to look forward to tomorrow which will be a boring slooow day but im going out at night so it shall be fun, However everyone is getting drunk and well i hate my drunk friends…

Song of the day - Pumped up Kicks - Foster the People :) played it on my ukulele today

Day 33 - 2/8/12

Well Im doing good :)

Its strange now that i have a job i kind of feel grown up lol everything is kind of falling into place :) im happy.

All thats left is a boyfriend last on my list lol ….not gonna happen

Oh well for now i have my friends and single life - not that i like it that much

The only problem i have with work is being on my feet all day, i feel like im developing flat feet lol i need comfortable shoe…I NEED CROCS they are quite ridiculous though arent they lol

Im looking forward to going out this weekend although i have no money …i’ll have to put on the puppy dog eyes to my mum and dad… thats the one thing great about a job my mum and dad wont have to moan cos im always asking for money :)

Anywayz thats all today :)

JUST A BTW JUSTIN BIEBER’S NEW VIDEO ….OMG!

Cant believe im going to see him live …ahhh

Song of the day - As Long As You Love Me - Justin Bieber *watch the video ;)*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4em3LKQCAQ

Day 32 - 1/8/12 ….its august :O 

So that thing i wasn’t getting my hopes up about it was an interview and…… I HAVE A JOB!!! Finally ! I was so happy i love the place, the job and the people are so friendly and welcoming , its great and a great big PLUS one of my best friends works there ahhh amazing :)

Anywayz i have missed alot of days again….i dont know whats so difficult about writing something everyday oh well today was a productive day so i’m here now. I woke up at like 4 in the afternoon yet it was a productive day lol I cleaned my room and feel great i cleared out stuff and its soothing you should try it clean your room you’ll feel great!

Anyhoozles apart from that i just feel good and happy :) i had a good weekend not too crazy and i have work tomorrow which im excited about . Despite it being 21:49 im about to have my tea and chill watching tv with the fam …The Walking Dead to be specific …Fact about me : I love zombies lol although they scare the shit out of me…

Heres to getting back in the swing of things ….IM HAPPY!

Song of the day - As long as you love me - Justin Bieber (Dancy tune gets me in the mood to party )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-FVihIlU2g&feature=channel&list=UL

Day 30 - 30/7/12